YUCK, What Did I Just Eat

On the day of my birth, owners of restaurants and eateries from far and wide gathered and watched as I was lifted into the air by the doctor. As he did this they cheered for now there was a child with an endless appetite and parents with deep pockets. Okay, it didn’t happen like that but the whole endless appetite thing is not a fictional statement. From the day I was brought home the hospital I would eat anything I could get my (so called) little hands on. I would dine on the things from mac and cheese to mud pies made by sinister sisters.

As I grew my appetite grew as well. I moved on from eating building blocks and Terra confections to eating only the finer things like SloppyJoes with grape jelly and donuts dipped in orange juice. I had become a scientist of food. I would grab anything and add it to my meals while my family watch in pure horror as I would mix my ice cream with a plethora of condiments but never forgetting the cherry on top. After a months of my many experiments I eventually learned that there were somethings that were just not meant to be put together. So one day I put down the fork and put away the marshmallows and put back the pizza and vowed not to try to make a science fair out of my meals.

Soon, after the phase was over, I started to become more and more picky about the food I was going to ingest. No more PB and Pickle sandwiches or even normal foods like plain old chicken (smothered in ketchup or BBQ). As the years went on I soon found myself limiting my tastes to pizza, burgers, any type of noodles, and sweets or all kinds. My mother soon noticed this and started to make my daily meals more and more exotic. After a few weeks, my mother soon created a meal so grotesque and stomach churning that it changed my stomach for forever.

It was another day just like any other. My mother was in the kitchen and there was a vast amount of smells, both enticing and repulsing floated though the house. After a few hours I heard my mothers voice calling and as I raced to the table making sure I got my seat. As I turned the corner my eyes were met by a plate full of some kind of fish, a squishy looking thing, and well I don’t even know the rest was. I really didn’t know what it was but as I turned to leave I heard the fatal words my mother had been using to control my family, “eat it all, or no ice cream” and I returned to the table a took my seat. The table was quiet. No one dared to take a bite of the monstrosity my mother had created in the kitchen. Each of us took turns making faces and waited for someone to take the first bite. I pushed the squishy object back and forth between my the edges of my plate. I did this for a few more minutes and raised my head to see all eyes on me. I knew what I had to do, I picked up my fork and closing my eyes shoveled the food gray glob into my mouth. I pushed the food around my mouth a few times back and forth. My eyes snapped open and my mouth soon transformed into a rancid and ,what felt, toxic waste land.

After swallowing the foreign food I turned to the rest of my family and smiled as I bolted to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, and almost making my gums bleed, I returned to the table to find out what my body had just ingested. the mystery food was (drum roll), tofu. That little glob that packed all of that horrible taste and smell was a little thing of tofu. I will never ever eat that food ever again.


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